Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Bring me that man meat
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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