he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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