I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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