it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
