How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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