I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
