haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
