just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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