your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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