You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
