ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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