sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
