Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She told me I should be a condom model.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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