The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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