Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
