My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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