Whod you bang
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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