tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize