Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
