We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
