I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
