it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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