why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize