Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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