Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
