the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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