I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
