he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
