I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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