yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
