PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize