I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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