That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
