Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
