singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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