No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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