i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
