You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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