I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
