I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
