So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize