You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think people are normalizing furries
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
