I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
