but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
