Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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