so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
