He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
