Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
