i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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