Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
