Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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