Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
not ubering you a puppy
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
