Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
