This is not my ceiling
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
