I swear she didn't look like that last week.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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