she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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