i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Never joke about your clitoris.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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