Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
