ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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