Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
