you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
