If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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